But no matter who asks, no matter your sexual orientation and no matter your level of credit card debt, you should always offer to pay on a date. It reflects your character, is polite and definitely fits the Golden Rule. Therefore, one skill (or tool) you want to have is the ability to test your intention from the start. Men, when they offer to pay yes, they are going to offer to pay, at least at first don't make a big show of it.
Swipe your card silently into the bill presenter and don't say anything else about it. Same-sex couples don't have this gender-related problem, so when it comes to deciding who should pay for dates, perhaps heterosexual couples can seek guidance from lesbian and gay couples. According to a survey of LGBTQ singles, most feel that the person who initiated or asked for the date should pay. Although this seems like a fair solution, in heterosexual couples, men still ask most of the questions, so men are likely to end up with the check.
This question was meant for the first date and the first date only, not that “expect a man to pay for everything”. Most women are used to (or even expecting) the man to pay on the first date, and there's nothing wrong with that. Less than half of the women in the study (46%) think that paying for the appointment is the man's responsibility. Nearly two-thirds of men surveyed felt women should contribute money to cover dating expenses and 44 percent of men said they would stop dating a woman who never pays.
However, in a survey of more than 17,000 people, only one in six men believed that women should engage in sexual activity if the man pays the bill on a date. If you offer to pay for coffee, and he gets all eager, hesitates and eventually ALLOWS YOU to pay for this first coffee date, then you know that either he doesn't really like you and you don't need to waste any more time, or he doesn't really have any intention of getting serious with you. However, even the most broken men don't allow themselves to do that to a woman, IF they really have value, and if she liked her. Twenty-two percent of women, claiming it was a man's job to pay, claimed they would never offer, while only three percent said they would fully offer to pay the bill in full.
You see, I think most decent men who are serious about you and not just “interested” won't let you pay on the first date, even if you offer, but especially if you offer to pay. If a man offers to buy a meal at an expensive restaurant for a woman, the reward is free food. However, most decent men are also intelligent and sensitive to whether a woman is there to value herself or not. And while the person responsible for picking up the check on a first date is usually a point of contention, even a few months or years after dating, a couple may still be arguing over who should pay.
Also, because you risk offering to pay for something (small), you'll have MORE emotions associated with the way he responds to your offer.