Should Women Offer to Pay on a Date?

No matter who asks, no matter your sexual orientation and no matter your financial situation, it is always polite to offer to pay on a date. It reflects your character and is in line with the Golden Rule. Therefore, it is important to be aware of your intentions from the start. Men should not make a big show of it when they offer to pay; they should simply swipe their card and remain silent.

For same-sex couples, there is no gender-related problem when it comes to deciding who should pay for dates. According to a survey of LGBTQ singles, most feel that the person who initiated or asked for the date should pay. In heterosexual couples, men usually ask most of the questions, so they are likely to end up with the check. This question was meant for the first date only; it does not mean that men should pay for everything.

Most women are used to (or even expecting) the man to pay on the first date, and there is nothing wrong with that. Less than half of the women surveyed (46%) think that paying for the appointment is the man's responsibility. Nearly two-thirds of men surveyed felt women should contribute money to cover dating expenses and 44 percent of men said they would stop dating a woman who never pays. In a survey of more than 17,000 people, only one in six men believed that women should engage in sexual activity if the man pays the bill on a date.

If a man offers to buy a meal at an expensive restaurant for a woman, the reward is free food. However, most decent men are also intelligent and sensitive to whether a woman is there to value herself or not. And while the person responsible for picking up the check on a first date is usually a point of contention, even a few months or years after dating, a couple may still be arguing over who should pay. If you offer to pay for coffee, and he hesitates and eventually allows you to pay for this first coffee date, then you know that either he doesn't really like you or he doesn't have any intention of getting serious with you. Most decent men won't let you pay on the first date if they really have value for you and if they like you.

Twenty-two percent of women said it was a man's job to pay and claimed they would never offer to pay, while only three percent said they would fully offer to pay the bill in full. You see, when you risk offering to pay for something (small), you'll have more emotions associated with the way he responds to your offer.